17 October, Tuesday
Yep. Couldn’t sleep.
There were some things going through my head. And I was just thinking and thinking. So, I thought why not just jot it down (and maybe get it all over with).
It’s 3:21 am. I started editing something. Now I’m sleepy. Legit
13 October, Friday
Last night, I found some long lost songs. Oh how good it felt to hear them again. Listening to some music rn too. Music is my.. haven (?).. refuge, yes. It’s a safe place.
Well, I think I’ll get going. I wanted to talk a bit. About my life and other things. But idk, seems like it has sorta vapourised.
Okay, remember, don’t go there again. Alright. It gets you nowhere. *deep breath*
Will talk to you later
About the mess and how it can be sorted. Bit by bit.
see ya ❤
21 September, Thursday
Anyway, it’s 2:37 pm.
So, have a little cousin over. Kids. Ask so many questions. And I’ve noticed he gets bored v v easily. Short attention span.
So, over to my life. Since quite some time, I’ve been saying that it’s a mess. It seems so. Maybe, it truly is. I need to take a broom and declutter it.
I’m doing masters. In technology. In a subject I don’t like the least bit. From the same college I did my bachelors from. I hate every minute of it. Maybe hate’s too strong a word. But I just don’t like it, not even the least bit.
Idk, it just feels like I’m in a suspended state. Lost. Adrift.
what should I do?
should I let things happen or should I make things happen?
should I swim towards the shore or should I let the waves take me wherever?
you know, I’ve been sleeping in the afternoons more, more than usual. that’s what happens when I’m feeling down. so, it happens when I’m not engaged in something meaningful, or just busy with something. like, I won’t have time to feel sad or whatever it is that I feel when I have exams going on. it’s anxiety and looming darkness what I feel before and during exams.
I feel like I should just write you know pen and paper kind, see you soon then
love ya ❤
17 September, 2017
this time, next year
I’ll meet you then
let’s see how far I’ve travelled
que sera sera ❤
7 September, Thursday
Okay. So, minors from Monday. Despite the fact that I’m done with grad. All bc I’m now doing post grad, I have to give the frggin minors and majors.
And I just finished writing down the class notes an hour ago or so. I grandly wasted more time than working on the notes. Ha. Not a new thing for you, is it? (I’m talking to myself)
Yet to start studying.
I had never imagined that I’d be studying the same thing only a little more complex again. I did and I still do want to do MBA. But what am I doing rn. Anyway, let this minor exams get over. I’ll apply at a few startups and off I go.
I should sleep now. Btw I didn’t go running yesterday.
My table is a mess. I’ll clean it in the morning now.
I’m solely to blame for the mess my life has become, isn’t it. Like a pendulum, always vacillating. Even after taking a decision, I’d keep thinking what if I had chosen the other option.
You know in my life, more than what I’ve done it’s about what I haven’t done. The decisions not taken, opportunities left untouched; not having taken too many chances or just plain right not doing anything.
Paralysis of analysis.
Okay, sleepy sleepy now. See ya ❤
It's 3 now btw
4 September, Monday
I got a new phone last night!! I think I like it a fair bit. I like the interface.
I’m getting a haircut soon. I have long hair, waist length almost. Maybe I shouldn’t really get it too short. It kinda looks pretty when it’s shampooed and all combed properly.
I think I should make some efforts to lose a few kilos. I’d look better then. Maybe even a little pretty. Bleh. Running is hard work. And more than that, the getting up in the morning to actually get running.
Okay, so it’s 2:42 am rn and I had a file to complete which I haven’t even started with. Ugh.
It’s 3:03 now.
Yeah. I’ll get going now.
Btw my life, it’s a little messy.
I was downloading and going through apps, podcast players actually.
Will get going now. Update you with my life later.
See ya ❤
24 August, Thursday
You know, now I think I’ve reached this point that when people don’t reply to texts, I am not bothered. It just happened now. And my attitude is eff it all. I don’t care.
Anyway, just a thought – more than about making deep meaningful conversations, is it about flattering and networking with people?
Now, I think it is. People like flattery and small talk, do they?
I guess some ties and connections, they justget old and wither away. Not everyone gets to be a part of your story, long term. Some are just visitors. Like crossroads, I think. Touch and go.
It’s 1:11 am btw. Looking up topics for technical report writing.
Okay, so now I’ve looked through a few topics.
I’ll sleep now.
P.S: To whomsoever it may concern, make things right in my life, make me a better person. See ya