11 July, Wednesday
12:06 am

It’s a little after midnight. Well, tbh I didn’t study a single word yesterday, I was busy worrying about something. I slept for 2 hours in the afternoon and the time left, I spent worrying about something. Such a worrier I am, sigh. And for some strange reason I am  sleepy already.

I have to get a hold on myself. Right, so once again I hope that things will be on track from tomorrow and forgodssake don’t sleep in the afternoon tomorrow. That was the whole day is gone to waste.

Anyway, I’ll go to sleep right now. Sleep on time and get up fresh and get some work done. There’s time. Get out of the stupor and start making things right, doing anything in fact.
It’s like every other day. I came back in April. And May June, well time just passed. Two freaking months.

Bye bye



19 April 2018
11:14 pm

I’m sleepy.
Idk but today sometime in the evening I had this feeling that *the one* would soon come into my life (as cliched as it sounds, yes)
and yes, I am indeed sleepy atm.

I feel alright atm, not the way I felt when I wrote what I wrote on 12 April.
Bye bye


fckin whatever

12 April 2018
1:31 pm

I’m tired. Maybe, tired of this life. I am tired of the mean people.
Not tired of this life but just some sucky people. Selfish assholes. Okay, being selfish is alright I guess. Everyone has to be selfish in this world to survive. But don’t fckin be a selfish asshole.
I really don’t know.. are some people inherently like that. Just not nice.

Day after day

11 August, Friday
9:06 pm

So, idk what’s happening. Actually, I do know. I’m procrastinating. Big time. Now, I’ve been watching ‘She was pretty'(a South Korean tv series) since morning. Since I woke up. At 8:30-9.
Ahh, okay. Calm down. And I’ve gained a few kilos, again. Goshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Okay, so someone I know (sort of), got into something he had always desired. Wow. He just kept on and on and on. And he got through. I’m still.. wow. After so many attempts.

It’s 10:15 now. Was having dinner.
Anyway, getting a job is the best bet for me. I just can’t stay at home and prepare for something (an exam), because I procrastinate a lot.. and usually end up doing last minute preparations. Aishhhhh (something like what they say in those korean serials)

Okay. Bbye

8 August, Tuesday
8:43 pm

It’s seems like day after day after day.
I know, I’m not supposed to be like this.

You know, I’m on episode 8 of The Handmaid’s Tale.. been watching it since afternoon. I have an exam on 21st. Ha. And I’ve already given up.

I feel weird

6 July, Thursday
9:50 pm

My life. Ha.

Meanwhile watching ‘A Silent Voice’.
*after sometime* crying and crying.. Shokoooo

The movie ended :’)

People. Happiness. People

You know, when I started writing this post I had some other thing in mind. But.. yeah I was watching this movie. Engrossing.

What will you do? What are you doing with your life? Just wth are you fuckin’ doing?
Hmmm. Directionless. Can’t just get down to doing one thing, can you? What will you do? What are you doing?

I don’t know where from and how should I start? What is it even that I should start? That I should be doing?

And after coming back from the class, I didn’t even open my book. And as for the exam (that could lead to a potential job) next month, I’ve just given up. I just give up so easily always, don’t I?

I used to be really bad at studies till 4th standard. Started improving in 5th. The graph went upward from then. Performed well, really well in 10th. Then didn’t study much. Even in the final year, whose result is supposed to be really important to get admission, and even otherwise, it’s like a landmark sort of thing in your life. Well, I didn’t study much and scored alright, not extremely well.

Then in university first year, didn’t do all that well. Second year onward, once again, the graph was upward. When I look back now, I didn’t really make much memories. Time just went by.

And right now, well, time’s passing by right now too. But am I really moving forward?


I’ll ttyl
See ya
(oh and btw it’s past midnight)


It feels empty, idk maybe

25 May, Thursday
10:25 pm

Um.. so, yeah college ended. I’m okay. Not sad. Not particularly happy. But it just feels empty, well sorta. And very very tired.

You know, I’ve realised one thing, people just click. You really can’t force friendships. Nuh uh. They just happen. It’s spontaneous. Or is it?

You really can’t make people fall in love with you too. If it has to happen, it will.. is that how it is so?
I do think a lot. About random innocuous stuff.

I had quite a few things going through my head, earlier in the day. But nothing much now.


and it’s 26 May, 11:40 pm

anyway, yes, I wanted to talk about the remembering stuff, remember? 😛

I don’t remember it all. I think I’ve been forgetting it, day by day. What’s already happened, I remember little.

It’s a scary thought. I don’t remember what others do. It’s like it never happened, but it did.

Okay, I’ll talk about it later.
Just that

See ya 😀

It’s okay

28 March, Tuesday
7:45 pm

Tbh I’m feeling depressed (can one feel depressed or is it that one is depressed). Um.. I’m just sad, and I feel (/it feels) empty. Okay, now I’m crying (not full on, but just tears in my eyes, silent crying (?)).
I’m fine. Sigh

I feel sad when you know, people don’t reciprocate the same way. I know, I shouldn’t have expectations but I just can’t help it. It’s like something inbuilt. Silly me. Have no expectations from anyone anymore, okay, understood? (I’m talking to myself. Yup)

I don’t feel restless now. I feel tired. Despite not doing anything strenuous.
Deep breath

College ends soon. I’m happy. Others are worried that it’ll be a new life, there’s uncertainty to it blah blah. But I’m cool. Despite the fact that I don’t have a job yet. But I’m cool. It’ll all be alright. Yep. I’m positive about it.
I won’t go mad.

Having a job is crucial. It gives you some purpose in life. Even though it might be mechanical and mundane but better than having nothing to do.

Listening to random songs. With no lyrics.
I’ll get going now.

See ya
Love ya ❤

PS: Thank you for everything 🙂