13 September ’18, Thursday
Hey hey there
yes, it’s pretty early in the morning or late at night, well whatever you prefer
I met up with some friends today. So before I left for the meeting place, I was second guessing if I should really be going. But later after meeting up with everyone, while we were sitting in a cafe, I felt at ease, and this thought even crossed my mind ‘I feel so comfortable and at home with them in this moment (idk why was I even considering to take a rain check)’. They’re a bunch of lovelies.
So, I’m over this now but I’ll just share it with you. So I got ignored or seen zoned by a person, and it made me sad. I don’t know if I’m being oversensitive or if it even is sth I should be sad about. Do I measure my worth by how others perceive me? perhaps I really do (I did tell you that I’m a people pleaser, didn’t I, sigh)
Is beauty a currency of sorts?
I know that not all relationships are transactional in nature but most are. It saddens me but it’s the bitter truth. Maybe that’s how the world works, it’s all transaction, give and take.
I shouldn’t feel so sad, right. Maybe the person didn’t feel the need to sustain the conversation any further. There was no need for it.
Okay, so now I’ll try to be best version of myself. I know I can never be the best perfect version.. it’s always evolving, so be better, become the better me. I feel things would change for the better when and if I change for the better.
I’ll write something wonderful someday
words are all I have
don’t be bothered by people who don’t really matter, because they don’t matter; they aren’t a part of your life, they aren’t a part of your narrative; they chose to be on a different path, a different story, a story not yours
ugh just backspace all this stuff
there, it’s all done now)