It feels empty, idk maybe

25 May, Thursday
10:25 pm

Um.. so, yeah college ended. I’m okay. Not sad. Not particularly happy. But it just feels empty, well sorta. And very very tired.

You know, I’ve realised one thing, people just click. You really can’t force friendships. Nuh uh. They just happen. It’s spontaneous. Or is it?

You really can’t make people fall in love with you too. If it has to happen, it will.. is that how it is so?
I do think a lot. About random innocuous stuff.

I had quite a few things going through my head, earlier in the day. But nothing much now.

___________________________________________

and it’s 26 May, 11:40 pm

anyway, yes, I wanted to talk about the remembering stuff, remember? 😛

I don’t remember it all. I think I’ve been forgetting it, day by day. What’s already happened, I remember little.

It’s a scary thought. I don’t remember what others do. It’s like it never happened, but it did.

Okay, I’ll talk about it later.
Just that

See ya 😀

Aye! I feel okay, better now. Somehow.

2 October, Wednesday
6:45 pm

I feel okay, atm. Yup.
I stumbled upon this artist quite recently. Aaah! I’m in love with his songs!!!!!!!! Boy, you’re amazing. Your voice, dulcet. In love with it. Totes

I know what will I do!
I’ll make a list of goals!
Aye!
All of a sudden, I feel not sad. The good life. Ha.

Oh, btw I’m totally in love with his voice. Yep, still listening to his songs. I had dinner. It’s 7:30. Almost.

So, a bucket list! And just live my life. And I should be more proactive! I’m the only one who can take control of it. And and no more sleeping in the afternoon. Please! Don’t sleep in the afternoon. Sleep properly at night. 7 hours, more than enough. Then stay active through the day.
Yes. I’m cool. We’re cool!

Aye. I seem so excited. Ha ha. Don’t know why. Maybe. Maybe, my life’s about to change for the better. Yay!

I can feel it in the air *smiles*

Just live.

The universe is so friendly. I think so. I know so. Thank you for everything! Totes

XOXO
You know who 😉

Blame game

13 March, Sunday
11:15 am

Sometimes, I so badly want to blame someone, anyone but me for a few things in my life. For some situations I am stuck in. For who I am. Alas! It’s no one else but me who’s to blame, who’s at fault. I know that too. Yet again, every time I want my burden to be someone else’s. If only. Sigh.

I don’t know but I’m a very demure, shy person. Well, not at home though. At home, maybe I know that I’m safe, it’s family, so I’m okay, confident (if that’s the word), but outside I’m a scaredy-cat.

You know, when I was kid, I was bullied. It’s just vague memories. I can’t be too sure if that actually happened or it’s just some distorted memories.
But I do remember, for sure, this group of three girls who did actually bully me. Took my pens away, told the teacher I was a liar. I want to blame them, blame my kindergarten teacher for what I am today. Who I am. For what I’m not.

Hmmm

It’s just so much stuff just buried in me. Sometimes, I feel like running, keep running till I drop.
Someone very close to me, shouts at me, picks on me a lot. I want to blame that person for what I’m not today but it’s only me who’s to blame.

I want to be a better person. A more confident person. I just want to be enough.

Even though I’m in college now, a long time since those mean people, there’s not much that’s changed. It’s truly said, don’t be too nice or people take you for granted.